The Putt-Putt Incident: Part 5 of The Adventures of Moses Kincade

If there were one thing that was invaluable to Moses, it would most definitely be his dry erase calendar board hanging on the wall above his desk in his bedroom.  He kept up with all of the upcoming events that he had such as tests, bills and other various things of that nature on the calendar.  One-third of the board was corkboard.  Moses pinned things of interest such as business cards, coupons to the BK Lounge and a few pictures of him and his friends on that side of the board.  For the last 5 days, the newest edition to the board is what confounded Moses every time he glanced at it.  In the bottom left corner was Sarah's phone number.  He had never gotten up the courage to call her despite now being 2 days past when he and Kenshii decided would be a reasonable time to wait.  They had nothing substantial to base this time-table on except the idea that if it was good enough for Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau in Swingers, it was good enough for them.  It sounded reasonable anyway.  Moses often would pick up the card and dial half the number and once he even dialed the entire 10 digits, only to close his phone before he could muster up the strength to press CALL.  Considering that it was Sunday, Moses had decided that one more day wouldn’t hurt and he put away any thoughts of shaming himself further and tried to put Sarah out of his mind.  It was then that Kenshii called him and suggested that they do something that they hadn’t done in a very long time; play putt-putt and race go-carts.  Moses was enthralled with this idea.  He had always felt that there was a certain calming effect to doing things that you used to thoroughly enjoy when you were younger.  He couldn’t decide if it was the fact that you were just doing something that you hadn’t done in a long time, or if the “retreat” to a simpler time allowed him to leave all of his current situations behind.  No matter what the cause for the relief was, Moses and Kenshii were heading to Captain Sharky’s Fun Land and couldn’t be happier. 

Moses arrived at Captain Sharky’s before Kenshii did so he found a bench outside the front doors and waited.  Shortly after Moses sat down, Kenshii arrived.  “Why did you want to take separate cars?  I mean, it was on my way to get you,” Moses asked.  “I had something that I had to take care of and I figured I could just do it on my way here,” Kenshii replied.  “Fair enough,” Moses responded.  “Let’s do this!  WOO!!!”  Moses and Kenshii walked inside and were immediately overcome with nostalgia.  Neither of them had played putt-putt since high school and they couldn’t even remember the last time that they raced go-carts.  They felt as if someone had given them a million dollars and said “Run Wild!” in a fun store, whatever your definition of a fun store may be.  As they walked through the main building towards the little office where you rented your putter, they took in all the sounds of the arcade.  The pings and clicks of the pinball machines, the rapid gun fire coming from the shooter games and the familiar sound of wooden balls rolling up a ramp in the ski-ball machines made them smile.  Those instruments of fun would soon enough get their turn.  They passed through the arcade as a pack of kids that resembled something like what Moses thought you might find at a Devil Wears Prada concert rushed passed them towards the go-carts.  “Shouldn’t they be busy being forlorn or sullen or something like that?” Moses said to Kenshii.  “I thought you weren’t allowed to have fun when you’re hair was that straight.”  Kenshii just laughed as they approached the counter to get their putters. 

After finding just the right putter, fighting over who was going to play with the red ball and filling out the scorecard, Moses and Kenshii took to the first tee.  The game started off fairly even.  Both were tied at 15 strokes through the first 4 holes, which wasn’t saying a lot for either of them considering that par through as many holes was 10.  At least they were enjoying themselves and that was the important thing.  As the round drew near the finish, Moses had a two-stroke lead but Kenshii was teeing off first on 18.  He struck his putt firmly.  It rolled tightly against the right wall and then veering off to the left once it reached a ridge. There is struck a rock, bounced around a log and then off the wall finally dropping into the first cup that delivered the ball on a lower green.  Moses and Kenshii both ran to see where the ball would end up.  As it popped out of the tube, it rushed directly for the cup.  The world seemed to be in slow motion and, in retrospect, reminded Moses of one of those old NFL Films documentaries about football games at Lambeau Field when Vince Lombardi was still coaching the Green Bay Packers.  The only thing missing was the steam from their breath, and of course, Howard Cosell.  As the ball neared the cup, Moses let out a defiant “NOOOOO!!!” to no avail.  The ball dropped.  Kenshii threw his putter in the air and triumphantly proclaimed “SUCK IT!” in response to his hole-in-one.  Moses, feeling very dejected, knew that he still had a chance to win the game.  He strolled back to the tee and placed his ball on the third hole from the center.  After eyeballing the shot carefully and trying to remember exactly what Kenshii did, he struck the ball.  Much like Kenshii’s shot, Moses’ hug tightly against the right wall.  It seemed, however, that he had hit it too hard.  It rode high up on the ridge and before dropping down towards the rock wall that Kenshii used to direct his ball to glory, it struck the log and bounced backwards straight towards Moses.  He could only hang his head as the ball stopped a few feet short of where he originally hit it.  Kenshii could barely contain himself after seeing this.  Moses knew that if he didn’t put his ball in the cup in the next two shots, the game was over.  He struck it again and this time his aim was true.  His ball drifted around the log that previously caused him such grief and towards the first cup.  The ball gently dropped down into the tube and both Kenshii and Moses hurried over to see if the ball would follow the earlier path.  This time the ball came out of the tube on the left instead of the center.  It headed directly towards the wall and then ricocheted towards the cup.  Moses was almost beside himself as the ball rolled almost lethargically towards glory.  When it reached the cup, it circled the edge twice and Moses fell to the ground with a yelp as it was directed back towards the wall.  Once returning to his feet, Moses attempted the shot that would tie the game.  The ball was struck firmly and straight at the cup.  What Moses didn’t account for was the tiny twig right in front of the hole.  As the ball was about to drop, it rolled against the twig and stopped.  Before Moses could completely lose his mind, Kenshii kicked the ball in the hole.  “WINNER!” he yelled.  Moses knew it was a pity kick, but he would take it.

After the two returned their putters, they decided that they would play some arcades before racing the go-carts.  Kenshii checked his watch.  “Why do you keep looking at your watch?” Moses asked.  “You don’t have anywhere to be, do you?”  “No,” Kenshii replied.  “I just like to know what time it is.”  They walked inside and Moses asked Kenshii if he wanted to play air hockey.  Kenshii told him to go ahead and do whatever because he had to make a phone call.  After Kenshii walked outside, Moses decided that he was going to play pinball.  He had always wanted a pinball machine but never really had the money to get one.  Moses thought that having a pinball machine in your house is just about the pinnacle of cool.  After playing a few games on the Dr. Acula machine, Moses realized that he wasn’t as good at this as he thought he was.  He also came to the conclusion that the “bonus” that the machine gives you a chance for after you lose all your balls is purely for the appeasement of the player.  He had never gotten a free play nor seen anyone get it, but assumed that it was there to make him feel like the machine cared.  Clearly, the machine doesn’t care.  Nevertheless, he put in another fifty cents and started a new game.  This time Moses was actually playing really well; surprisingly well by his standards.  Just as he popped his second ball into play, Moses felt a poke in the side.  He swatted behind his back and said, “Hang on a second.  I think I might actually set a high score on this one!”  The poking continued and eventually caused him to lose his focus and his ball.  “Seriously!” Moses said as he was turning around.  However, when he turned, he realized that it wasn’t Kenshii that was poking him. 

Instead of Kenshii standing before him, it was Sarah dressed in dark denim jeans and a teal pea coat, despite it being a reasonable temperature outside.  “Did I make you lose your balls?” she asked.  “Uhhh,” was the best Moses could get out for the moment.  “It’s ok.  I just thought you were Kenshii.”  Moses cell phone beeped and he opened it up.  It was a text from Kenshii saying, “Hey, I’ve got to go.  I’ll fill you in later.  Peace!”  Moses looked up to see Kenshii raising his hand on the way out the door.  “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Sarah said.  “Oh, don’t worry about it, you’re not a disappointment, I mean, uh… yeah,” Moses replied.  “So, why didn’t you ever call me?” Sarah asked.  Moses couldn’t remember a time when he felt more awkward and in all honesty, he wanted to crawl under the Dr. Acula machine and possibly die.  Finally, he decided that he could handle this and tried to think of a reasonable answer.  “Well, I’ve been really busy with work and school and I just forgot,” Moses replied.  He felt pretty confident about this answer.  “You forgot to call me?”  How could your just forget?” she asked with a very serious face.  “Ah shit,” Moses thought to himself.  “Good one, jackass.”  Sarah could see the consternation in Moses’ face and said, “I’m just messing with you, Moses.”  Moses was relieved to hear this and said, “Well played.  How can I make it up to you?”  Sarah thought for a minute and then replied, “Well, I was hoping that you’d take me out.  That would be a good start.”  Although this shouldn’t be any real news to Moses, she did give him her phone number after all, but his heart leapt with joy at these words.  “I believe I can do that,” Moses replied.  “What is a good night for you?”  As these words came out of his mouth, Moses suddenly realized why girls never go out with him.  “Really?” he thought to himself.  “You’re both here tonight, so clearly this is a good time for her, Captain Obvious.”  He then said to Sarah, “I guess that was kind of a silly question, huh; considering that we’re both here.”  “Just a little,” Sarah responded.  Moses smiled and asked, “What would you like to do tonight?”  “Take me to the go-carts or lose me forever!” Sarah exclaimed.  Moses was glad to see that the wisdom of “Top Gun” wasn’t lost on people younger than he was.  It worked on Goose and it worked on Moses as well.  “Show me the way home, honey,” Moses replied.

As Moses and Sarah made their way to the go-cart track, they talked about little things like ridiculous people you see at work or how irritating it is when your phone rings at two in the morning and it’s a number that you don’t have stored in your phone.  Although the conversation to most may have seemed mundane, Moses was really enjoying being able to articulate full sentences and he thought it seemed like Sarah was enjoying herself.  When they reached the track, Sarah began taunting Moses.  “I’m totally going to dominate you.  You know that, right?”  Moses wasn’t really sure how to take this, especially since he remember himself being an amazing go-cart driver, but he played along.  “Paaaaaalease.”  You don’t know who you’re messing with here.  You’re going to be right behind me all night.”  Moses paused for a second, but Sarah beat him to it.  “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!” Sarah yelled.  Moses stood stunned for a moment, and then got down on one knee.  Using a combination of his newly found full sentences and emoticon lingo he learned from his cousin, he proposed to her.  “OMG.  Will you marry me?”  Sarah laughed.  “Up, up,” she said.  I want to see how you deal with me dominating you in this race before I agree to marry you… and did you just say OMG?”  Moses sheepishly grinned and said, “Yeah, it’s a long story.”  “It better be,” Sarah replied with a laugh.  The race began shortly and as they say, “It was on.”  Moses and Sarah remained close through the first 3 laps.  However as they were rounding the next to last turn on the last lap, Sarah bumped Moses and his car spun out of control and into the wall.  She cruised through the finish line for the victory.  Moses sat in silence for a moment, taking in the fact that not only had he lost a two-stroke lead to Kenshii on the 18^th hole in putt-putt but also was just spun out on the last lap by Sarah.  He was definitely, in fact, not the big winner of the night. 

            As it turns out, however, the people that run go-cart establishment frown on intentionally wrecking people.  As soon as Sarah and Moses climbed out of their cars, they asked them to leave.  Moses felt a small victory in this because he felt it meant that Sarah cheated, and he should have won after all.  He knew better than to mention this though.  As they walked back towards their cars, they talked about small things again.  The topics were slightly different this time, however.  They talked about the evening, and how much they enjoyed it.  Sarah’s car was the first that they reached.  She stopped and told Moses “This is me.”  After talking for a few more minutes, Sarah smiled and said, “Well Moses, I had a lot of fun tonight.”  “I did too.  I’m really glad that we hung out tonight,” Moses replied.  “So,” Sarah asked, “do you think that you might call me now?”  Moses laughed and responded, “Definitely, but only at two in the morning from numbers that you don’t recognize.”  Sarah’s eye’s widened.  “You’d better not!”  They both laughed and then Sarah requested, “Come here.”  Moses took a step closer and Sarah leaned in and kissed him on the cheek and said, “You’re really sweet.”  Initially Moses prepared himself to fight off any odd reaction that he might have but strangely enough, nothing came.  He was very calm.  “Thank you,” he said.  “Have a good night and I’ll talk to you soon.”  “Goodnight, Moses,” Sarah replied.  Moses closed her door and began walking to his car.  With every step he increasingly wanted to explode with excitement.  After sitting in his car for a little while, his phone rang and the caller id showed a picture of Kenshii.  A light bulb went off in Moses’ head and he answered his phone.  “Dude, you’re busted,” Moses said.  Kenshii laughed and replied, “What are you talking about?”  Moses paused for a moment and then responded with “You didn’t count those two strokes when you hit your ball in the water on the 10^th hole, did you?