On Tuesday morning, Moses woke to the sound of the maintenance man weed-eating outside his bedroom window. As far as Moses was concerned, there were few things that perturbed him more than waking to the seemingly never-ending sound of a weed-eater on a day that he had a late class. He rose from his bed and meandered into the living room where Terry was already giving himself a bath. Terry believed in starting the day off with a good bath, of course, only to get as dirty as cat-ly possible during the course of the day. Moses greeted Terry and made his way to the kitchen to make breakfast. By the time Moses had finished his breakfast, Terry had finished his bath and retired to the bedroom again; no doubt to plot his newest scheme. Moses’ phone then rang. It was his friend Kenshii. Moses had borrowed an accounting book from him some time ago and Kenshii needed it back to brush up before an upcoming test. He told Moses that he would be by in 15 minutes or so and Moses went to look for the book. Moses thought he knew exactly where the book was but 10 minutes into the search he had not found it. He did, however, find his copy of Shawshank Redemption he had been looking for. No matter what happened with the book, Moses was pleased with this outcome. By the time Kenshii arrived at Moses’ apartment, the book was still nowhere to be found. Kenshii was amazed at the amount of random things that Moses had pulled out while looking for it though.
Moses had always known that he was a bit of a pack rat. His apartment was littered with many things from his past and was long overdue for a dusting. Without looking too hard, one could find things such as an old t-shirt that read “Texas Yard Dog” and depicted a long horn steer on a chain near a doghouse, boxes full of things Moses never used anymore but couldn’t come to part with and even a ceramic cowboy holding a sign reading “Oklahoma is OK.” It would have made more sense if Moses was from Oklahoma, or Texas for that matter, but he was from Alabama and many of these artifacts boggled his friends endlessly. The ceramic cowboy was clearly Kenshii’s favorite. After 20 more minutes of both Moses and Kenshii searching for the book, they had still made no ground. Kenshii almost didn’t mind at this point. He had found a treasure trove of goodies to look through. It was then that an idea hit him. He suggested to Moses that he should have a yard sale. Moses wasn’t completely open to this idea because he didn’t like the idea of doing away his old things. Kenshii was quick to point out that Moses never used any of these things and that he would be able to make some money as well. Whether or not Kenshii had ulterior motives concerning his phantom accounting book could not be determined. The tipping point was when Kenshii picked up a bicycle that only had one wheel. When Moses could supply no sufficient answer as to why there was a one-wheel bicycle in his apartment, the decision was made for him. Next Saturday, there would be a yard sale.
Over the next week, Moses and Kenshii sorted through Moses’ old things. Kenshii, not wanting to be completely totalitarian about the situation, allowed Moses to defend certain articles that he felt he should keep. One of the most heated battles actually occurred over the “Texas Yard Dog” shirt. Kenshii argued that he had never seen Moses where it before and Moses retorted that he did wear it on occasion. They came to an agreement that Moses had to wear it at least twice a month in public and Kenshii had to see it. Terry thought this was a fair agreement. He was partial to seeing the shirt go though because he frequently laid on that particular shirt, for some reason. Much to the pleasure of Moses, the one item that Kensii did not consider for the yard sale was the ceramic cowboy. After mulling it over for a few days, Kenshii decided that he couldn’t stand to see it leave Moses’ apartment; mainly because it made him laugh that Moses would have such an item in his possession. At the end of the week, Kenshii felt a real sense of accomplishment seeing all of the things boxed up to go in the yard sale. His only concern was that no sensible person would buy any of this crap. Nevertheless, Kenshii and Moses spent the next few days putting up signs and trying to spread the word about the yard sale, or parking lot sale, as they were calling it.
On the big day, Moses, sporting his “Texas Yard Dog” shirt, and Kenshii woke up early and began carrying all of the stuff outside. They set up tables and placed all of the “goods” in respective areas, depending on the item. They even set out a refreshment table for the patrons. At 6:15 am the first customer arrived. It was an old blue hair and her granddaughter. They picked through the boxes and the tables but they didn’t seem to be finding much that interested them. Just as the grandmother was about to thank them and leave, she noticed her granddaughter closely eyeing something. Moses went over to see what she was looking at and it was an old Aerosmith poster that he had framed. Moses was slightly surprised that the young girl knew who Aerosmith was. “You like Aerosmith?” Moses asked. “Are you kidding me?” the teenage girl replied. “They are only the best band to ever be a band!” This sentence immensely confused Moses, but he believed he got her gist. He was so happy to know that this teenage girl was smitten with his favorite band that he ended up giving her the poster. By 9 am the parking lot sale was in full swing. Kenshii remarked to Moses that he couldn’t believe they had sold almost everything. Someone even bought the bicycle with one wheel!
Moses was on his way to the refreshment table to get a drink when saw a familiar silhouette in the sunlight. He froze as the figure bent down to look at something sitting near one of the tables. Moses immediately called Kenshii over to convey his distress over the situation. As Moses was frantically trying to explain to Kenshii the “dire” situation he was in, the figure stood up. It was Sarah from the video store. “Woah,” Kenshii interjected. “She’s cute, dude.” “Yeah, I know, thanks,” Moses replied. “I’m freaking out, Kenshii.” “You need to take the 7 train to Chill Station and slow your roll, Moses,” Kenshii responded. “She’s just a girl. Just talk to her.” Just as Kenshii said this, Sarah looked over and noticed Moses. Sarah seemed to have a slight grin on her face. Seeing this, Kenshii nudged Moses with his elbow and excused himself to “Go sell some more of this crap,” as he put it. As Kenshii walked away, Moses tried to stop him but he was gone. He turned and looked at Sarah as she was walking towards him. Moses’ pupils dilated and his throat began to get dry. He turned to get his drink as she approached. “Hi,” Sarah said. Moses turned toward Sarah and looked at her blankly for a moment. Inside his head was a raging battle between the two armies of “Run like hell” and “Grow a pair.” “Hi there,” Moses replied. Grow a pair had obviously won. “How’s it going?” he asked. Sarah smiled. “It’s going well.” Moses asked her if she would like a drink. He poured her a cup of Dr. Pepper and frantically tried to think of anything witty to say. The memory of his last encounter with Sarah was at the forefront of his mind and he didn’t want to repeat his epic failure again. Sarah bailed him out though. “I’m Sarah, by the way.” Moses of course knew this, but he had to at least make it sound like he wasn’t a complete stalker. “It’s nice to meet you, Sarah. I’m Moses.” Sarah smiled again and they shook hands. “So, you work at the video store, right?” Moses asked. “Yeah, I think I’ve seen you in there a few times,” Sarah replied. In all honesty, she hadn’t forgotten the last time they had encountered one another either, but she tried to play it cool as well. “Yeah,” Moses said, “I’m a pretty big fan of the movies.” He felt really awkward saying that and was becoming increasingly worried, more so than normal, that Sarah could tell that he was a total lame-o. “I love them too,” she replied. “What’s your favorite film?” Moses thought for a second and then responded, “It’s hard for me to nail it down to one, but some of my favorites are Casablanca, Eternal Sunshine and Shawshank Redemption.” Sarah paused for a moment, seeming surprised, and replied, “I love all of those movies! You’re totally my new best friend, Moses!” Moses had a hard time hiding his excitement in hearing that Sarah, in fact, did not think he was a total lame-o. “So, new best friend, I have a question for you,” Sarah said. Moses replied, “Shoot.” Sarah then held up a book that looked reasonably familiar to Moses. “How much do you want for this accounting book?” she asked. The book that Sarah was holding happened to be the same accounting book that belonged to Kenshii that started this whole parking lot sale business. Moses stood stunned for a moment and then replied, “Well, actually, I can’t sell that book. It’s one that I’ve been looking for and it belongs to a friend of mine. I don’t know how it got in here.” Sarah seemed to be disappointed. “Seriously?” she said. “I’ve been needing to get this book and I just don’t want to pay 100 bucks for it at the bookstore.” Moses felt bad, but after all it was Kenshii’s book. “I totally understand,” Moses said. I would sell it to you if it were mine, but it’s not.” Sarah squinted her eyes a little bit and then said to Moses, “Well in that case, I guess you’re going to have to make it up to me.” Moses could see that Sarah was writing something on the book. Normally he would have said something, but it was Sarah, after all. “How am I going to make it up to you?” Moses asked. Sarah placed the book down on the table and started to walk away. “You’ll think of something,” she said. “By the way, I love your shirt.” Moses looked down at his ridiculous shirt and then picked up the book. She had written her phone number on it. Moses was so elated that his heart almost burst right there. He had a good mind to call off the parking lot sale and make everyone leave but Kenshii wouldn’t stand for that. Instead, he settled for the next best thing. “Kenshii!” Moses said. “Guess what? I found your book!”
Pretty much freaking out at my desk right now!! I wanted him to get her number SO BAD!! WAY TO GO, dude!! Too bad he couldn't sell her the book!
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