Never is a Promise

                A slushy mix of rain and snow fell on Blanchard Street as Landon Jennings rode the bus home from school.  From his seat on Bus 47 he could see Mr. Riley’s eyes in the mirror, constantly glancing back at the other children.  When needed, he would scold one of them for being turned around in their seat or yelling or throwing a paper wad; whatever small infraction they may be committing.  This time it was Billy Johnson that was meeting the business end of Mr. Riley’s tongue. 

“Billy Johnson!” He cried out.  “If I see one more piece of paper in the air I’m going to write you up!  You got that!” 

“But Mr. Riley,” Billy replied.  “It wasn’t…” Billy was interrupted by Riley’s booming voice. 

“Ahhh!  Not another word!”  Landon just shook his head.  Despite being 12 years old, he knew that neither party was accomplishing anything with this method of conversation.  Riley knew that Billy would do it again because, well, that’s what Billy did.  And Billy knew that Mr. Riley wasn’t going to write him up because, well, he never did.  Billy did however manage to refrain from instigation for the remainder of the ride and this made it a relatively quiet one.  Landon sat in silence with his head against the cold window and considered possible items for his Christmas list.  He was really hoping to get a new bicycle.  His old one had been recently run over by his father after he had left it in the driveway.  He was also not completely like many of the other kids his age.  Most of them asked for things such as an XBOX or a PS3 or something similar that involved video games.  Landon was more of the adventurous type, a sort of throwback to the days of his father.  That was a characteristic that his father really enjoyed in Landon. 

            Fifteen minutes later, Landon had reached his stop.  He gathered his bag, waved goodbye to Sally Melrose, and walked toward the front of the bus.  Landon had a crush on Sally but he didn’t have the nerve to tell her.  Every time he saw her at school he would try to talk to her but only managed to look awkward and end up scurrying away as quickly as possible.  He often thought about something that his grandfather told him.  “Youth is wasted on the young,” he would say.  Landon wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but he had a pretty good idea.  He nodded to Mr. Riley and Mr. Riley returned the pleasantry.  As Landon stepped out onto the wet street and the bus pulled away, he looked up into the grayish sky and stuck out his tongue.  A few wet snowflakes landed on his warm tongue and he smiled.  They also peppered his face like freckles, adding to the large amount that he already had covering his cheeks.  It rarely snowed in Alabama and while this was far from what anyone would consider a blizzard, it was just as wondrous to the young boy.  His bright blue eyes radiated through his pewter framed glasses amidst the backdrop of white as he looked about, taking in this foreign scenery around him.  He skipped around his front yard for a few moments before he saw the front door open and saw the familiar face of his father, Randall Jennings, and heard a familiar call for him to come inside.  He noticed that something was decidedly different.  His dad shouldn’t be at home.  It was only 3:30 and he normally didn’t get home until 5.  This wasn’t the only thing that he would find unfamiliar about this afternoon.

            When Landon entered the house there were several people that he didn’t recognize and some that he did.  His grandparents, Ralph and Sandy on his father’s side, and Rick and Wilma from his mother’s side were all standing together at the far end of the living room.  He could see his grandmothers crying in the consoling arms of his grandfathers.  Talking to them was a gentleman that he didn’t know.  There was also another man talking to his father.  He heard words such as embolism and blood clot; words that he didn’t really understand.  Landon was very confused and he didn’t know what to do.  He looked at his father and he could see sadness in his eyes.  He looked around the living room frantically and then ran toward his parent’s room.

“MOOOOOOOOOM!!!” he cried.  Landon’s father was right behind him and when they both reached the bedroom, he knelt down beside Landon. 

“Dad, where’s mom?” Landon asked.  Randall just looked at him as a tear trickled down his cheek.  He grabbed Landon and held him tightly against his chest.  “Dad?” Landon asked. 

“Landon, something happened to your mom today,” Randall answered.

“What happened?!” Landon asked nervously. 

“She got really sick today and…” Landon’s father choked up while trying to finish the sentence.  “She died today.”  Landon was absolutely stunned.  He couldn’t think, he couldn’t act; he just stood there.  Tears began to run down his face but he didn’t yet feel sad.  He knew that somewhere in his racing mind there was an appropriate response, but he couldn’t seem to find it.  Then it suddenly came out. 

“NO!” Landon yelled.  “That’s not right!  She said that she’d never leave, that she’d always be with me!” 

Randall, now sitting the floor, shed several more tears before saying, “I know, Landon.  But there was nothing she could do about it.”

 Landon wasn’t satisfied with this and he recalled a memory from when he was younger.  “No, she said it!  One night when I was really scared from a nightmare, Mom came in and she was sitting with me.  I told her that I couldn’t go back to sleep and she rubbed my head and sang a song to me.  Then, she got up to leave and I said, ‘Mom don’t leave me, I’m still scared.’  She said, ‘I’ll never leave you baby, and never is a promise.’  She stayed there until I fell asleep.  I remember it!” 

Randall shook his head and tried to force a smile.  “You’re mother truly loved you, Landon.  She certainly did.  And when she said never, she meant it.  But there was a bigger plan for her, and she had no control over that.  But I promise you she’s watching over you right now, and she will be forever, and as long as you keep your mother in your heart, Landon, she’ll never leave you, never ever ever.  Ok?” 

Landon, still crying, lifted up his head, hugged his father and nodded.  “Ok.” 

Randall ran his fingers through his young son’s hair and said, “I love you, Landon.  I love you so very much.” 

“I love you too,” Landon replied. 

Landon took his father’s hand and they returned into the living room where his grandparents were waiting for him.  Like he had seen his dad do before, Landon tried to put on a forced smile as he crossed the living room to join them.  He was far from being ok with the death of his mother.  He had only started to feel sorrow over the loss.  He did, however, find comfort in the words that his father had said to him earlier.  He knew that when his mother said that she would never leave him and that never was a promise, she meant it.  He was reassured by this and despite being tremendously sad, he had peace in knowing that no matter what happened, his mother would never leave him.  She would be right there with him, in his heart.