Meet Moses: Part 1 of The Adventures of Moses Kincade

At 5 minutes past 6, Moses Kincade, an all around average twenty-something, stood in a poorly lit parking lot wondering why it got dark so early in the winter. Not scientifically speaking, of course; everyone that had the competency to finish 3rd grade knew the answer to that. More along the lines of a "Woe is me!" instead of a real chin scratching type of a question like the one that he was about to find himself reluctantly asking. Shortly after this short-lived contemplation, Moses found himself in Petco watching a video about an animal-grooming product. Apparently it removed the undercoat; or was it the overcoat? Either way, Moses didn't really know the difference. He did, however, understand that this product apparently did away with 99% of pet dander and it wasn't harmful to the animal. Both of these were obviously admirable enough qualities for the product's video to keep him transfixed for at least 15 minutes, which was enough time for it to play one and a half times. 

By the time Moses realized that he had spent this much time watching a video for a product that, by his account, simply brushed away the pet's loose hair, he immediately questioned the direction of his life. He deducted that if a video about a pet-grooming product was entertaining enough to keep him interested, it was time for a change. Moses looked up from the video that had captivated him and standing about 10 feet away was a very plain octogenarian named Ruth staring directly at him. "Isn't that perfect? Ruth" he said to himself. Ruth smiled and asked Moses if she could help with anything. He said no and thanked her and was on his way.
  


Moses Kincade was a reasonably normal person. He was average height and weight, 5'10" and about 185 lbs. He had wavy brown hair and blue eyes that the ladies would love, if he wasn't so shy and reluctant to strike up a conversation with one that appeared interested in making eye contact, even if by happenstance. He would normally just turn away, usually rather quickly, and act as if he hadn't seen them. Moses normally stayed to himself. It wasn't that he didn't have any friends, he had plenty, but meeting new people wasn't his forte. Forte is actually a little strong of a word. To say that meeting new people was a fairly weak point of Moses would almost be a compliment. Never the less, he managed to make it through the day, saying hello when necessary, and keeping his head down most of the remainder of his time in public. 

As Moses was driving home, pushed number 4 on his changer and Fiona Apple began to sooth him with her charming melodies. Moses really appreciated Fiona's work and he liked to listen to her when he was thinking. It was a good evening for a drive. Despite it being Winter, it was relatively warm and Moses drove with the windows down, allowing his hair to blow in the wind. He liked his hair whipping around in the breeze. He imagined it was the same feeling Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper had while riding those choppers. That made him feel cool. As he drove, he considered the possibility of meeting some new people. Just the thought of it made him a little nervous. However, when having to choose between finding himself in another situation similar to the Petco incident earlier and meeting new people, Moses felt the later sounded more reasonable.



On his way home, Moses stopped by the video store. He wasn't as trendy as the people who rented movies on iTunes and honestly was a little weirded out by those little red kiosks at Wal-Mart that dispensed movies for a dollar a day. It sounded like a good deal, but he wasn't bold enough to rent a movie in the lobby of the largest retail chain in the world. As Moses walked through the doors, he glanced around quickly, as if doing reconnaissance for a stealthy mission. Near the kid’s section, he saw the top of a head that he would know anywhere. The top of that head, and the rest of the body for that matter, belonged to a girl named Sarah. Moses remained still for a moment and then circled around the new releases and made his way towards the back of the store. Sarah, who was a petit brunette, continued stocking the shelves as Moses hovered about. He wasn't really sure what to do in this situation. The only time that Moses had ever talked to Sarah was when she was behind the counter and that was really more of a "Thanks for shopping, come again" kind of thing. She seemed nice enough, but he didn't know if it was proper protocol to call her by name and just strike up a conversation. After all, what would he talk about. "So, I hear they are re-releasing Lady and the Tramp?" Moses knew that saying something like this to start a conversation was, even by his standards, extremely lame. He continued to circle around, trying to look unassuming while maintaining a visual on Sarah. Eventually after much internal arguing, Moses settled on saying hello and let the rest happen from there. He confidently strolled in the direction of the young woman and just as he reached her aisle, she looked up. Her eyes met with his and Moses immediately froze. Seemingly locked in a catatonic state, Moses began to panic. He tried to say something intelligent, or witty, or at the very least, something coherent. However, all that managed to come out was something that might have been "Uh, yeah." After these two brilliantly executed words, Moses was able to shake loose from his frozen state and he bolted for the door. Sarah, looking a little confused, watched him leave and then went back to stocking the shelves. She had seen plenty of odd things while at work, but that was pretty odd, she thought to herself.

 

Moses rushed to his car and drove quickly back to his apartment. He couldn't help but feel disappointed about the encounter. While it was true, he did make an effort, he also managed to make a complete fool of himself at the same time. Little did he know, in the act of making a fool of himself, Sarah did notice him. This may have been some consolation to him had he thought to notice her watching him leave as he left burn marks on the carpet. Moses unlocked the door, walked in and closed the door behind him. He sat down on the couch and suddenly was very annoyed with himself. He had forgotten to get cat food while he was at Petco.